06 November 2012, 09:57 AM IST
Unlike in the past, huge political rallies and demonstrations don't appear to cause the kind of disruption they used to in Delhi, and one big reason is that the Delhi Metro conveniently goes below all the hot-spots. Boat Club lawns (been a while since anything other than winter afternoon card sessions during prolonged lunch hours have taken place there), Jantar Mantar area (demonstrations and rallies here appear to be brilliantly choreographed, with all players knowing their roles), Ramlila Grounds (the revival of an old pedestrian tunnel from New Delhi to Old Delhi railway stations will improve matters even more) and some other locations are eminently well served.
The AIIMSc crossing, which also has a Metro line under it and which was the nerve centre during the Mandal agitations has been re-designed so drastically, that anybody trying to even get there by road can not be blamed for getting lost. In effect, the city of Delhi now flows, traffic jams and pollution and all the rest of it, regardless. Some good thinking by the traffic cops helps. Trying to lock Delhi down by agitation would be well nigh impossible now.
As such, mango people in Delhi now manage to get along better than in the past, when the bananas call their meetings in high-security public areas.
So it was with some amusement that one heard the aspiring head small banana say something to the effect that he, too, was a mango or wanted to become a mango or deserved to be known as a mango. Or something like that, since most of the rest of his speech was confusing to say the least, this writer has lost too many relatives and friends at Kargil and other internal security hotspots to really appreciate the sense in anybody talking about "supporting" the Government in the Kargil war. What else would they support, the Ferrari team flying the Italian Naval flag, in support of the murderers from the Enrica Lexie?
Real fruit, this bloke, if I may say so. Still does not know that bananas grow in bunches, not as individuals. To start with. And when one banana goes rotten, then the rest of the bunch goes rotten in hours. And then all get thrown out together, not good enough to even make fritters out of them.
But anyways, since he does want to be associated with us mangoes, he does deserve our support, so here's what we mangoes think he should do right away:-
# Remove all symbols of oppression by bananas from our roads, like red beacons, sirens, and heavy "bandobast" whenever the bananas travel.
# Switch from white cars to coloured cars. White cars are now known as taxis and ambulances. In any case, will help differentiate from the other rotten bananas.
# Withdraw all perks of power, especially from areas like railways and roads, because they are beginning to pinch us mangoes now.
# Start cutting down on banana linked expenses and wastages, instead of asking mangoes to tighten their belts, remember Lal Bahadur Shastri and his "miss a meal"?
# And finally, please do something about reform in the bureaucracy as well as judiciary, as not delivered to the mango people.
Dear Head Small Banana ji, many of us understand your need for high security, but even that does not explain to us how you think you and your cohorts can become mangoes so easily. To us, all of you are bananas, regardless of political posturing.
If you really want to know what being a mango person is, then please leave the company of the rest of your bananas, first. They are mostly rotten bananas.
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