30 November 2012, 05:21 PM IST
There was a day and age when I put in about 3-4 flights a week, in and out of Delhi's Airport, and before that, often enough as a seafarer, to say with confidence that I have seen it evolve from the small little terminal it used to be, called Palam. The main 09-27 runway went right over our home, and the little-known Air Force Museum behind the Technical Area was always a winner, when time permitted.
So it has been also with some interest that one sees how the bespoke Terminal-3 of Delhi's vast Indira Gandhi International Airport, often also referred to as Delhi International Airport Ltd., despite a vast amount of money ostensibly spent on a cricket team by GMR, has evolved, especially since many of us still refer to the Tea-One in the vicinity of the older airport as Palam.
The newer and bigger Tea-Three, as it is now known, as different from Tea-One, has its own story, and nobody calls it Palam anymore.
To start with, it has a unique distinction - there are no public toilets visible anywhere. Ofcourse, if you peek hard enough, or follow your nose, then you will find where the Pee-Trees of Tea-Three are to be found.
Ladies excuse, you should have gone pee be four you headed for the airport, or you buy a ticket and enter. I don't know how to solve this one, sorry, please ask the big boss of Tea Three, they should be back from Maldives by now.
Then, Tee Three has a very pretty looking high-speed railway line emerging from under the ground near Tee One and then going all the way to New Delhi Railway Station. Hole in One, anybody? Photography is not permitted of this line. Why? Because there are no trains on it, of any speed, and if one comes, they are scared you will catch it. There was some talk that this train may fall down. More government money gone with buffalo into lake. With some brains this could have been a brilliant New Delhi to Gurgaon link, but then, a toll operator came in the way.
Toll on trains? No, on the highway next to the railway line, who would use it if, then? So, no Metro train to Delhi's Airport, and plenty of traffic jam instead.
But you can still avoid paying some part of the toll and skip a bit of the jam. Avoid deftly the misleading signage for Tea Three, when coming from Delhi side, follow the boards for Tea One, and then turn left at the traffic lights for the short-cut to Tea Three.
Use the tunnel underneath runway 10-28, on emerging you will spot a large number of buildings under construction. Famous hotel brand names shine out. JW Marriott. Lemon Tree. Also others.But you can ask a question - who does the land belong to? Silly billy, what a question, who does the land on which the Radisson is built belong to? Buffalo is still in lake, showing nostrils, that's who the land belongs to.
Go past the security posts smartly, though you may have some chai-paani times if you are driving or in an out-of-state registration car, the whole airport is named after tea.
After that, you climb the most confusing ramp for arrival or departure at Tea Three. It is designed to eliminate common sense. But wait, what do you see, abandoned dusty airplanes of a famous airline? Oh yes, and then the same as you go down the ramp, more abandoned dusty aircraft. All bought on public money borrowed from our banks. Truly, liberalisation means, money to fly away. From Tea Three? Oh no, those planes are not going anywhere - many of them don't even have engines.
Were those engines used for Formula One cars? Buffalo is now drinking beer in lake?
Very soon, you will have this smog fog causing flight delays at Tea Three, nobody knows why this happens so much lately. Actually, as has already been explained, this is also due to large amount of open fires in the vicinity. Books are being cooked, as my CA explained to me, will you get a calculator which can calculate in 20 digits now, these are the kind of numbers? Cooking books has never been so widespread, as it is in and around our airport, Tea Three, along with computers.
Lake is getting hot, buffalo is running out of lake, but on other side.
This, then, ladies and gentlemen, please upright your seats and fasten your seat-belts, we are about to land at GMR DIAL IGIA Palam New Delhi. Be careful of the dengue, the Delhi Belly, the assorted scamsters and especially please be careful of all the VIP convoys doing hither and thither in and around the airport pointing guns at you, like with buffalo in lake, please do not make eye contact with them, the gun people or the VIPs.
Because. Delhi's shiny new airport where you are made to walk till you fall out of fatigue into one of the shops within, is fast becoming a symbol of all that is going wrong with the country lately.
Contrary to all the spiritual teachings, this airport is a vivid example of how India is heading down a road of so-called economic self-satisfaction for a few at the expense of most others. You just have to open your eyes to see this.
Or keep sitting back, sipping your tea, and wonder - what happened to tea-two?
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