21 December 2012, 10:25 AM IST
Let's get this straight. I am among the 90% Justice Katju describes as idiots.
Mind you, I like Justice Katju. He speaks his mind and has great insight into Indian history, culture, tradition and that's why I do not hesitate in accepting his theory that 90% Indians are idiots. I will go one step further to say that he wouldn't be far wrong if he said 99% Indians are idiots. I would still remain in that category.
The first sign of an idiot, as Dostoevsky said, is he accepts his fate. If we fought fate back, we could have changed many things. Our politics, for one, wouldn't have been ridden by so many thieves, rascals, carpetbaggers and worse. No, they are not the errand boys of our leaders. They are also our leaders now and even though we abuse them in private, we never change them. When courts send them to prison, the Government springs them. So that they may openly walk the streets like bully boys and so the horrible things they are best known for. This makes wonderful stories for our media but doesn't do much for our public life. Their presence in our politics makes it impossible for any decent person to stand for office on the basis of sheer merit. You can't enter the cesspool of our politics today (Amitabh's famous words; not mine) unless you have bags full of cash or pre-sell your soul to the Devil who is then ready to bankroll you. And that Devil can be a political party, a business house or a criminal syndicate.
But then, merit has never been of much value in our society. There are usually three ways to make good. One: Nepotism. This means you use your family name or social connections to get where you want to be. Some of the brightest people in politics and business have successfully leveraged the accident of their birth to reach where they are. It's also called crony capitalism. But that's being cynical and idiots like me are not allowed to be cynical. Two: Crime. It's the charming short cut for those who have no access to family riches. This way you get to hang around the power elite and share a bit of the loot. You need to build muscle for this, on your biceps and forearms as well as in your brain. The power elite detest clever people hanging around them. They are not building successors; they are building an army of thugs. You have to fit in there. So learn the art of being faceless. Most criminals are. That's why no one can easily catch them. The third way to make good is by State patronage: Reservations, in short. The way things are going, we will soon have reserved categories for dolts, one-armed bandits, pickpockets and rapists. Their numbers have grown so large they can now negotiate for reservations in jobs, legislatures, schools and colleges. Even seats on trains.
If all fail, join a vote bank. Go, build a slum. Blow up a bridge in some remote part of India and find a cause to explain it. If you want a readymade cause, go join an extremist group. There are many looking for idiots like you and me. Some will offer you religious mumbo-jumbo. Others, a political cause, a state to demand or a forest to cut down, a banner to raise or a bomb to hide in your underpants. If nothing works, go beat up some PYTs in jeans and insist they must cover their midriffs. Better still, burn down a place of worship and look heroic about it. It's all grist to the mill. Remember, we are building a new India. Anything you destroy will come back bigger, grander, smarter-- and FDI branded. All economic activity gets us closer to our dream 10% GDP growth.
Now you know why I like being part of Katju's 90%? No, don't be stupid. I am not lumpen. Nor am I casteist or communal. I am just a bit lost in this new India, a bit out of my depth. I am the 90% who makes the market move and our democracy flourish. Respect me. Or get out of my way.
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