31 December 2012, 03:55 PM IST
'Shame' is a powerful word because it is associated with something as pure and as forthright as the conscience. . In the societal purview, its presence in a person exemplifies a sense of pride and dignity. Its absence makes one disgraced and dishonorable. Despite the transformational powers it entails, nowadays 'Shame' seems to be a small and insignificant word in the wake of the ghastly acts of rapacious savagery being committed against women. Are the men who brutally assaulted and raped the 23 year old physiotherapy student feeling ashamed of what they have done? Or the only negative feeling that they have towards themselves relates to the regret of being caught. Let me generalize the question and see if the answer changes. Do all men who whistle, wink, grope, stock, harass, molest and violate women ever feel ashamed of what they do? The answer is NO. On the other hand, 'Shame' has been used against women as a double-edged sword. They are easily tag-marked as shameless transgressors for acts like marrying without the consent of family, seeking a divorce, asking for share in ancestral property, refusing to cover hair, faces, or bodies etc. Also, they are forced to feel ashamed for the physical and sexual atrocities committed on them. More often than not, only women have to bear the brunt of 'Shame'. Since time immemorial, 'Shame' in the form of a moral sanction has been an effective tool that the patriarchal society uses to control women, to limit their autonomy, their mobility and their choices.
'Shame' is directly linked to the utmost necessity for a victim of sexual violation i.e. her rehabilitation in society. Her social acceptance would be complete only when society will stop creating conditions under which she will feel guilty and ashamed for what was done to her. Those women parliamentarians who were themselves feeling ashamed and helpless after this incident, were still very vocal in proclaiming that the scars on the soul of the victim will never go and she will remain a "Zinda Lash" for the rest of her life. They must come to the realization that such incidents are not evil enchantments from a witchy tale whose spell can never be broken. Instead of challenging society's approach towards such victims, they ended up endorsing it. Such statements which reflect nothing but pitiable social conditioning (and a covert political agenda) can only lead the victim further into depression mode. Whether the perpetrators go scot free, get a life-term or are hanged would definitely have a positive or negative impact on the deterrent value and on assuaging retribution but an actual positive transformation in the lives of victims of sexual assault would take place when society would be ready to embrace them with an open heart. I am all for reforms. I would definitely jump on the bandwagon of Police sensitization and accountability, Judicial expediency, Fast track courts and justice, Civil defense mechanisms, better surveillance through CCTV cameras so on and so forth. But, in the glittering spree of 'Institution bashing', I would not want to undermine the role of one of the most important social institutions, which has tremendous capacity to subvert the biased construct of terms like 'Shame' and overturn the set norms, namely the Family.
For that, one of the essential questions that we need to ask is that how do the societal interpretations and expectations of gender roles remain constant while individuals are dynamic? It is because societies and state legislate through families. It was not in vain that Louis Althusser proclaimed family to be one of the Ideological State Apparatuses. The family is able to adapt to the society by ensuring that the functions necessary for maintaining societal power structures are performed within it. Families do not socialize people into normative roles of man/woman, rather into gender specific roles. The terms of relationships in a family are taken for granted and the rigidly defined gender roles assigned within a family are hardly refuted. Thus, families become repositories of exercising the functions of society and sustaining the power relations endorsed by it. The toys that girls are given, the way girls are encouraged to dress up and be like their mothers, the way they are told to be docile and submissive is all a part of this socialization. And hence, differentiation of gender also becomes differentiation of power and the principle of stratification and hierarchy in our society continues.
With this theory of socialization in the back of the mind, the import of what Ram Singh, the driver of the bus in which the gang rape took place, said about the incident, is easily understandable. He categorically mentioned that it was the defiance of the victim that angered him the most. How dare she fight back, speak back and stand up to them? The deeply ingrained patriarchal mindset would automatically switch on the punishment button. And what is the biggest punishment for the females of our species? It is to shame her through sexual violation. Violence against women surges whenever the patriarchal status quo or the traditional mode is challenged. It strikes with severe backlash to kick women back in the space ordained by patriarchy for her. That is why it is important to understand that there is clear-cut power dynamics related with the very concept of rape. A lot of debate ensued on the issue whether the rapists are perverted, mentally sick individuals or is it about proving who the boss is? The important factor in the case of rape is that it is all pervasive, and is done across class, caste, region, religion, cultures and countries. It is not just the sexual desire or lust but the will to subjugate and dominate the victim that leads to rape. It is an explicit manifestation of the power relations entrenched in our social fabric.
If Gender Justice would ever break free of the shackles of being a fragile myth and if equality of women will ever become an achievable goal then home should be the starting point. Everything can't be left to the state. After all, the ideal situation would not be when every girl/woman is being accompanied/ watched/protected by a police official. The ideal society would be the one in which even without the fear of an administrative watch dog, men would whole heartedly want women to live and move around with as much freedom and liberty without unsolicited invasion on their integrity as they themselves do. Such a change cannot be ordered through statutory laws, it has to evolve from the social fabric, from families, from individuals. We have to stop believing that this deplorable social condition, this family set up is deterministic and inevitable. When the parents would make their sons realize the importance of respecting the other sex and treating them on par, when the society would stand up to support rape victims and ostracize the assaulters, when the social order, stratified by division of gender roles will stop seeing women as belonging only to the domestic realm, when men would willingly share with women the public domain where one gets remuneration, property, power and control only then this battle would be won.
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