25 February 2013, 01:44 PM IST
When he stepped in the room with his parents in tow, he had an air of defiance, only this time it was not targeted towards me but his parents.
"So, he tells us we should meet you at the end of the PTM because you wouldn't have any complaints against him. What would you say to that?" the father asked, almost daring me to come up with some praise for their son.
The son in question is one of my students who till a few weeks back was not so academically inclined but had of late (really late) started taking a wee bit of interest in studies (though later I realized it was probably just my subject).
I managed a faint smile and looked at my student, who looked at me. I could see that all my "good job" remarks of the last two weeks were flashing in front of his eyes and he wanted nothing but the truth, the one that started with my praising him.
This is the moment I so dread about these parent-teacher meetings. These are often the days of broken trust and cracked understandings. It is the day when either the students look at their teachers in disbelief or the parents give the teachers that dirty do-you-actually-mean-MY-child look. It is the day when the teacher is caught between the student-parent crossfire and doesn't know which side to lean on. It is also the day when no matter which side wins, the teacher goes back retired hurt.
Anyway, I cleared my throat and started, "Mmmm... well he is right. I am quite happy with his performance of late." I tried putting emphasis on the words "of late" but the sigh of relief almost silenced it.
"WHAT??" the father asked, while the mother looked at me disapprovingly.
"How is that possible Madam? He hardly studies and look at his last term paper. He is pathetic," he said, challenging my statement and credibility as a teacher.
I had to do something.
"... but this is a very recent development. I am happy but I just hope it continues and also there is so much that we need to do. I think we need to work harder than others to catch up." Now, it was the parents' turn to sigh in relief. But I will not forget the look on my student's face. His eyes were sad, almost accusatory and I felt as if I had broken the bond between us.
I know I might get a lot of flak with the argument, "You should always tell the truth, irrespective of which side it favours." But it doesn't work.
Truth is the lamest excuse one can give. When we can't handle a situation, we tell the truth. But the truth is not like grades. To me, it is not a standalone statement. Truth always comes with either a lot of justification or explanations, and it leaves someone badly battered.
So, today when I told them the "truth" I had a happy set of parents who went home guiltfree for all the scolding they had reserved for their 'careless' son, but I am scared that in the process, I might have lost a student who could just be beginning to become one.
(I will discuss another set of parents in my next blog.)
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