29 October 2013, 01:09 AM IST
For the last few weeks we have been doing very well without onions at home. And also seeking out restaurants which serve food that does not use onions. So much so that while on a tran journey from Delhi to Bangalore and back, I asked for and got Jain food, without onions. And it was not just tasty, but much more in quantity, also better in quality. Like brinjals become aubergines and taste as well as cost more? That way.
By lunchtime, the whole compartment was asking for Jain food, and the restaurant manager came across to see what was going on. Did we want onions, he asked, they are so cheap here. On the way back, returning via Solapur - Manmad - Bhusaval, I saw heaps of onion all over. And local radio station announcements on prices and availabilities. Maybe others had stopped eating onions too?
The waiter told me - Sir, Jain food served is always better. If it is not good, then people who ask for it write strong complaints. Which is news to me, does not eating onions make you a stronger person? When we were younger, which was admittedly a long time ago, people who put in a lot of manual labour would eat roti with daal and onions free. They said it gave them strength.
When I returned home, I asked our maid, how do you like not having onions in the kitchen? She has been with us for many years now, and told me, frankly, nothing could have been better. I asked her why, is it because peeling onions was a tearful process, and she said, no, not just that, but not eating onions improves memory. I asked her where she had heard that, and she said, in her village.
Looking further, I then asked my mother, and she said, yes, there is some truth in this, onions were removed from the diet before exams. And often at other times too. My mother-in-law said the same thing, so did my wife, and that pretty much took care of all possible female opinions that mattered to me as I munched some walnuts and almonds in contemplation.
Onions, in any case, cost as much as dry fruit lately. In the cities. But you can't munch them. Not that easily, anyways. Unless the dry fruit is onion flavoured.
Still not satisfied, I then called up a friend who is a big-big doctor in Umrika, and asked him, hey, are onions bad for memory, and he said, after some time, no, over here school of thought is that onions are good for memory, but that's the Umrikan kind of onion, what kind is that, I don't know, he said, but there are over 40 kinds of onions in the shops here, shall I send you some?
Nowadays, people in Umrika who were in the old days sending us everything from jeans to felt pens to magazines to photos of themselves using cordless phones standing next to big-big cars, do not know what to send us. So the onions, though I said, no thanks, because I had forgotten why I had called him in the first case. Grab a cup-cake, he said, and I said, what, have you lost it, you old fruitcake, he said, no, cupcakes are the latest rage here, are they onion flavoured, I asked him, no, they aren't, but its cheaper than giving away bottles of wine.
This was getting us nowhere.
Truth be told, my take on the whole thing is that the mystery of onion prices for urbanites is like some sort of mass hysteria, fanned further like flames hustled red hot by people with, what else, fans. I have a strong gut feeling that if it were not for this, the whole business of building up an "onions are expensive onions are expensive" hype, prices would not have gone up.
Which is why, this is the song for this short essay, enjoy.
The lead singer, who was Indian, knew his onions for sure. In this song, secretly, he is saying that if more people gave up onions, many things would happen.
# Prices would come crashing down.
# Poor people who really need onions would get them.
# Your memory may or may not improve.
# I forgot the last one.
Who else thinks the whole onion price hype was some sort of co-ordinated hype? Especially on TV?
You should listen to the radio more. On internet maybe?
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