06 January 2014, 10:46 PM IST
Michael Clarke: We won the Ashes.. wow... so what if I have lost my IPL franchise Pune Warriors India!!
Graeme Swann tweets: It didn't feel like rxxe!
Clarke (anwers to the tweet): We didn't feel like urinating on the SCG pitch.
Stuart Broad: (Answers to Clarke's tweets) That's because you knew we would have mocked at you saying 'copycats, copycats'.
Captain Cook: Main Namak Haraam Nahi hoon. These things happen in Test cricket. If there is a better option than me to hand over the English captaincy baton, I will be more than happy to do it.
MSD to his manager: Main bhi yehi bola tha after India lost eight Tests in a row abroad. And they accused that time that I had the backing of president emiratus. I was the captain in only seven of those Tests!
Andy Flower: We must focus on the process, not the results.
KP: This process process dimag mein baith gaya. Hence we started the procession.
Lehmann: Mates, let's go out for dinner together. And read the dos and don'ts written by Root and Ryder carefully. After that we shall go for a movie.
All: Since knowing a little bit of Hindi helps during the IPL promotion, let's go to the Indian movie.
(Akashvani reminiscent of Garib Khan mimmicking the voice of Kabir Khan says 'Satyamev Jayate', 'Dhoom3'.)
MJ: I like the name Dhoom3. Sounds like broom. We will make a political statement by backing the broom. In our next series in India, the mango people will back us.
KP: Politicians can't take credit for everything. King Mallya told me this during my RCB days. And remember, if Aussies can win 5-0, we can win 6-0.
All Aussies: Gotcha! We are not playing six-Test series next.
ECB chief: Who is God of cricket?
All Aussies: Sachin.. Sachin... Sachin... Sachin....
ECB chief: He has recently said that India can qualify for football World Cup in 2022 if proper planning is made rightaway. If that's the case, nothing is impossible, right? Including winning the five-Test series 6-0, right?
All: Yes, sir!! Sachin is right. He cannot be wrong (They agree among themselves that it's better to be safe than sorry. What's the point in writing honest statements in the book and sugar-coating it later. We play cricket fair and hard, you see!)
ECB chief to his secretary: Let's call Mr Srinivasan. We will beg for his help in extending the five-match series to six matches.
Secretary: But what if he says he is a specialist only in reducing the number of matches and not increasing them??!!
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