Do you live in black and white or in colour?

Some people live their lives very black and white. There is a strong 'morality' and sense of right and wrong and very definitive familial role playing. They are ruled by traditions, and grey areas bother them because there's always an element of possible disapproval and the fear of 'what will people say?' They walk with blinkers, guided by 'parampara' and 'sanskriti', challenge nothing, are resistant to change and expect everyone to toe the line. There was once an era of black and white TV and it was entertaining, a way of life, something we all tuned into and shared in common. And then came the amazing advent of colour TV! It changed our lives, the way we viewed things, and it definitely created a divide between the haves and the have not's. Those who could afford it made it a part of their lives. It's the same with life. Those who could afford to 'live in colour' made it their 'way of life'. By afford, I mean they had the resilience and the means to go against the grain — their inner conviction and desire for a different way of life fuelled them onwards. Today people don't live life in just colour, they live it 3D!! Desire it, Demystify it, and Do it! Women at the workplace, breaking glass ceilings, pre-marital sex, nuclear families, living in together, girlie holidays, wearing bikinis, following passions rather than traditions as a career choice, trying various cuisines, love marriages, inter-caste, inter-religious, and inter-racial marriages, sdancing at clubs, kissing cheeks rather than touching feet, having a best friend in the opposite sex... the list goes on. May all the colours of the festival Holi spill over into your lives and paint it with the palette of your choosing. Live with respect, but also without fear. . It's your life, so make it matter and make it vibrant!

I am a 16-year-old girl. My cousin, who is 23, visits us often and we hug and kiss each other whenever we meet. But of late I have been feeling uncomfortable when he kisses me. He tries to get too close. I have indirectly told him that I don't feel comfortable. Please help.

Be direct. Better to face the discomfort of meeting him eye to eye for a minute and telling him that you don't like being hugged and kissed, than be subjected to years of torture and discomfort every time you encounter him. Besides, you telling him off will put you in a position of power whereas he being in control of things puts him in power. What would you prefer?

I am a 15-year-old girl. One of my classmates says that he really loves me a lot. He is genuinely a very nice guy and though many girls from our class have approached him, he has rejected everybody. He tells me that he only wants to spend his life with me. I like him too but since he is from a different community, I feel my parents would object to this. I feel it is too early for me to get into a serious relationship. I don't know what to do. Please guide.

You are correct, correct and correct. Your parents may object, it is too early to get into a serious relationship and in all probabilities, despite best intentions; urban relationships that start this early rarely culminate into long-term scenarios or marriage. Keep it happy, keep it light and keep it playful. There's no need to reject someone, and neither is there a need to plunge into something you're not sure of.

I am a 30-year-old guy. A colleague of mine proposed me a couple of days back, and she says she is very serious about it. But a couple of days back I got to know from a friend of mine who is working in another department that she has approached somebody from his department as well. I am clueless as to what she wants, because she hangs around with me and my friends very often.

She's probably ready for a serious relationship, has identified potential mates and has cast all nets to sea. Sort of like a self-swayamwar! Hanging around you and your friends was the audition, and if you like her and are game for the selection, then simply accept her proposal.

I am a single mother of a 23-year-old boy. My son has made my life hell. He is extremely rude, insensitive and violent. He just refuses to listen to me, humiliates me in front of others and abuses too. He has become an alcoholic now and for the last six months has stopped brushing his teeth and only takes a bath once or twice in a week. I have tried approaching a psychiatrist, but he terms me as a psycho. His extravagant ways are a huge drain on me. What should I do?

It definitely sounds like he needs rehab and professional psychiatric counselling. His behaviour is not normal, is deeply concerning and given that he has his entire life ahead of him needs to have this attended to on an immediate basis.