March 20: International Day of Happiness! But endorphin or cortisol? It is for you to choose!

Written By Unknown on Kamis, 20 Maret 2014 | 21.16

Rumy Agarwal
20 March 2014, 06:34 PM IST

Have you ever tried catching a butterfly? It perches nimbly on a flower, gently folding and unfolding its wings while you approach it noiselessly from behind and, just when you think you have caught it, it flies away—a transient flash of colourful wings, enticing yet mostly unreachable. Well, that's what happiness is like. The  more you chase it, the more elusive it gets. At the risk of mouthing an oft-repeated (but little heeded!) cliché, I'll say that happiness comes from within. In fact, sought outside one's being, it is akin to a mirage—you just don't seem to attain it!  You, and you alone, have the power to make yourself as happy as you wish to be! Truly an awesome thought, eh?  

It  is all a question of attitude, y'know—whether you WANT to be happy or wallow in the dumps. Hey, hey, hold on……I know that all of you will retort, "Of course, we want to be happy, who doesn't?" Very true, but there's a difference between wanting to be happy and WANTING to be happy. Generally speaking, we feel we could be happy, or even happier, if we had more money, more acquisitions, less stress, better faces and figures, were much younger or slightly older or even—this is for the finicky ones—had better weather!! (Phew, talk of being hard-to-please!) You crave for some or all of the above because you want to be happy. In the absence of these factors, you feel your life is less than perfect and even if you don't actually make a career out of being unhappy, you don't see any valid reason to feel very gung-ho about life either. You are moving along, smiling now and then, frowning occasionally, and leading a rather humdrum existence.

In rapier contrast are those who not only want, but choose to be happy and so they take happiness wherever they find it—be it in a child's smile, a rainbow, a pet dog's adoring look, a fond memory, an old forgotten greeting card, sepia-toned photographs, a friend's company, a good book. These people are open to the idea of receiving happiness as and when it comes of its own volition because they know that when chased, happiness becomes a fleeting emotion, lasting only as long as the desire for the object which caused it!

Does one, then, need to learn to be happy? My answer would be "Yes", if you don't have the natural propensity for it. I oughta know, 'coz I didn't! Till I got a pep talk from my very perceptive and sensible husband (compared to scatterbrained me, he seems doubly so!). Till yesterday I used to be high-strung, giving high-voltage reactions even to trivialities, swinging my bat frantically without always making contact with the googly balls that life threw at me, and generally hovering on the brink of sanity. I did all my thinking with my heart—a heart that is a true-blue mushball which pumps up the schmaltz factor if the subject of my thoughts is my significant other or my children, the triumvirate around whom I wrapped my universe. "Fie on you!" said my head, which God had obviously put on my shoulders to carry out the cogitating activities and it had a right to feel superceded. But I continued to make an emotional fool of myself while my head looked on helplessly. The result was that I got so worked up about every damn thing, that I ceased to enjoy life and be happy. Then precious hubby wagged his finger at me and spouted a few truisms. Actually what he said made a lot of sense and became the inspiration for today's piece. Check it out.

So how do we be happy? By not trying too hard, for starters! By lightening up a little and overlooking minor setbacks and hiccups instead of treating each of them as a major disaster. The world gives a hoot whether we smile or frown—so why not increase our face value by smiling? If we can only learn to laugh at some things, the scenario would not seem so grim all the time! Actually, I wasn't too sure that I could do it but my husband made it sound quite easy—so I decided to give it a try. You could too, y'know.

Once I had resolved to find my happiness in day-to-day events and activities, I realized that there are indeed several other ways to make oneself happy. Laughing, for instance, is a  great mood elevator—y'know, reading comics or watching cartoons (the antics of Tom and Jerry can never fail to make you laugh), having a belly-laugh over a joke or even watching a comedy film can boost both your mood and your health several notches higher on the feel-good scale. Spending time alone with yourself is also a de-stressor—taking a walk or cuddling up with a good book helps to raise the happiness level by distancing you from whatever it was that was bothering you. Keeping yourself busy is as essential as relaxing, so find yourself something to do—indulge a hobby, take up a pastime, do a random act of kindness now and then. These are surefire ways of making yourself float like whipped cream on a delicious cuppa coffee! Whether you release the feel-good hormone endorphin or the stress hormone cortisol is entirely upto you.

Making time for the family (even at the cost of a chore left undone) is a happiness-booster—I tried it and it sure helped. It is indeed rewarding to make an extra effort to nurture family ties—the skirmishes, if and when they occur (and they do, in every family), seem less virulent then.

If you can train yourself—via meditation, positive thinking, or whatever—to find inner peace and calm, then you will attain happiness far more easily than others. It involves making peace with yourself, accepting who you are and not worrying about or fighting unknown or unseen demons. No doubt it is a tough call but I believe it is worth trying.

And above all, count your blessings—it'll immediately put your heart in the right place and fill your soul with humility and gratitude for all the things you have, things which you need to be thankful for but have only taken for granted so far. And even if things are not as hunky-dory as you'd like them to be, be grateful for the fact that you are at least alive to know that they are not. Would you rather be dead? Think about it.

All these are but small ways of achieving happiness but they can boost your self-worth which, in turn, can motivate you to go beyond your best—in your life and in your relationships. That is a reward worth vying for.


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