09 March 2014, 09:04 PM IST
If it didn't happen on Facebook maybe it didn't happen
Everyone has different reasons for trying something new. Back when i first became a member of the Facebook community, my reason was because my friend Anisha insisted that without an account i would miss out on seeing all her wedding pictures. I was already skating on thin ice with my buddy given i had missed the actual event, and the least i could do was have a Facebook account open and ready once the photos came pouring in. So i joined Facebook for wedding pictures, i was going to have a look at them, admire them and then quietly leave. Why? Because i thought Facebook was bullshit.
Turns out that what was bullshit was me because it's been six years since i first started using Facebook and i am still here. And not only am i still here i am STILL HERE multiplied by 10. I now have just under 2,000 friends, which is 1,983 more than my actual friends, and i have two accounts. One is my 'personal account' and one is my 'comedy page'. Facebook, i now realise, wasn't some harmless little networking/keeping-in-touch site where i could see my friends' wedding photos, oh no — Facebook is a drug.
Think about it, all drug users start the habit with the impression that we have control. I know what i'm doing. Just one drink, one line, one pill. Just once. Just to see what it feels like. I swear — one time and i am out of here. I'm a grown woman, i can handle myself.
Facebook started as a one-time-thing, i was going to try it and then calmly walk away. But while i was on there i realised 'Oh how fun — Ruch posted these really hilarious comments, may be i'll say something witty too. Oh look six people LIKED my comment! That's two more than the people who liked Ruch's comment — and hers was really funny.' And it was downhill from there. I went from one-time-only to once-a-day-only, to what it is today a full-blown obsession.
The other thing about druggies, most of us can't get the day started without a hit. Weed smokers wake and bake, Facebook users wake and fan-scan. Don't sit there pretending you don't know what that is. A fan-scan is when you have posted something the previous day that you think was exceptionally brilliant and are checking your page for the reaction. Sometimes the feedback is good, people have noticed you. But quite often it isn't and that's upsetting, like getting all dressed up for a party and the only compliment you get is from your dad. Regardless of how the fan-scan makes me feel, i must check first thing in the morning, last thing at night and as many times in between as need be, got to get my Facebook fix.
Which brings me to a third aspect of Facebook that mirrors addiction — shame. Facebook has millions of users, yet, the heaviest users, people like myself, won't admit they use. A company that my husband worked for firewalled Facebook and so the only time he could check it was after working hours.
What are you doing with my computer? Nothing.
Lies! He's on Facebook and he's ashamed to admit he is. He's embarrassed because he posted pictures of himself weightlifting the previous day and now he is checking to see who said what.
How long have you been on Facebook? I'm not on Facebook. How long? Twenty minutes.
More lies. When dealing with a junkie multiply anything they tell you by two at the very least. Because abusers lie all the time.
Unless you work for Facebook you are probably lying about how much time you spend creeping around on it. And i don't blame you. Like me you are an addict and no one likes an addict.
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