24 April 2014, 04:57 PM IST
Since time immemorial, in Indian politics, the private lives of our politicians have never entered the public sphere. This is a vestige of our colonial past, though the British have long throw in the towel on this one, and today the private lives of their leaders (beyond just the royal family) are disturbingly public. In 2014, most voters around the world feel that private lives of politicians cast an important insight into who they are, and more importantly help them decided if they will make good leaders. This is the reason why public lives of politicians are so much in focus. In American politics for example, private lives of politicians, in particular their family life, has a huge impact of public image. The private lives of American politicians carries into their public lives, and the role of the First Lady in American politics is an important one.
In India though, private lives, especially family lives, of most of our leaders are kept in the dark. I find this to be an extreme irony, for we are a country that above all prizes marriage and a stable family life than any other nation or culture in the world. In 2014, in perhaps the most important election that our country has seen awhile, it is an irony that that two bachelors are in the race for the Prime Ministerial seat.
What does the single-hood of our Prime-ministerial candidates say about them? First let' look at Narendra Modi. Modi was married to Jasodabhen 45 years ago. Jashodabhen, the 62-year old retired school teacher was recently tracked down and interviewed by a leading newspaper. According to her, she was married to Narendra Modi when she was 17 years old. He left her three years later, and she has neither seen or spoken to him since. Modi never maintained contact with his wife, nor made any financial arrangements for her. Today Jashodabhen, the retired school-teacher lives in Gujarat with her brothers. According to Jashodabhen, when asked why she never remarried, she said, "After this experience, I don't think I want to. My heart is not into it."
Over the years Modi has spoken a lot about women and about feminism. He publicly adulates his mother. She is the first person he went to after winning his election. This creates a wonderful public image of a politician who loves his mother. But what does the fact that Modi left his wife without a word, never to reach out to support her financially or otherwise say about him as a person? About his humane qualities?
Now lets take a look at Rahul Gandhi. Rahul too is a bachelor, and though he has never been married, he has been associated with a few women- most of them foreigners. On the question of marriage, the 43 year old Rahul has been mysteriously quiet, invoking all sorts of rumours in the media.
How you lead your personal life says a lot about who you are as a person. The same holds true, maybe even more true for public figures like our politicians.
As I conducted research for my book India in love- Marriage and Sexuality in the 21st century, I discovered that we are a country and culture obsessed with matrimony and family life. For most Indian parents, their children only become adults when they get married.
Isn't it strange then that we don't look for these same family values in our politicians? Parenthood too is an important part of our culture. Most parents agree that being a parent is not just about having a child, but that it leads to fundamental changes in our being. Fatherhood is really when a man learns at a deep, real level what responsibility means. What does it say then that both our prime ministerial candidates have never been fathers?
Indian politics needs to be become more transparent on many levels. We also need to bring that same transparency into the private lives of our leaders, the politicians who we as a people adulate (especially these days) so much.
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