12 January 2014, 01:53 PM IST
So now there's something called the "Selfie Olympics"!!! For the uninitiated, a 'selfie' is a photo of yourself shot by you. In a world that's been so obsessed with the lives of others, it's amusing and perhaps refreshing to see such an incredible focus on the self coming into play, at least amongst the tech savvy globally. Narcissism isn't a healthy thing, and perhaps the over-the-top, sometimes dangerously shot 'selfies' are of concern, but in general sense, how very nice that people are learning to focus on themselves, pun intended! It's said that your eyes are the windows to your soul, but a camera is a window to you. It's your world, your reality, your expressions, your personality, your creativity, your reflections in a captured moment. The same way an X-ray tells you what's happening physically, a 'selfie' shows you what's really going on with you. I suggest you take 'selfies' regularly and study them. Zoom into your smile and your body language. Look deeply at it. Over the years we become jaded, cynical, and listless, our smiles get mechanical and eyes lose their sparkle. If you allowed yourself to get this way, you owe it to yourself to undo the damage. Let 'selfies' be your route to a transformation. Be spontaneous, think happy, naughty thoughts and do whatever it takes to put the zing back in those pictures because life is all about relationships and the most important one is your relationship with yourself.
Q&A
I am a 23-year-old guy and in a long-distance relationship. My girlfriend is 25 years old and though she loves me a lot and wants to marry me, her parents do not agree to our relationship and are searching for grooms older to her. We are both distressed. What should I do?
Is it really age or is that just an excuse since the one thing you cannot change is your age? Talk to them openly about all their reservations about you as a potential son-in-law. Tell them that you are willing to accept logical, practical reasons as to why they choose to reject you. Age is just a question of mind over matter; if you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
I have a friend who is very practical in life. He was attracted to a girl for approximately 10 years. When he tried to propose to her, he got to know that she is already in a relationship. A few days later, he found out that she lied about it. He felt insulted and just cannot get over it. I have tried explaining to him that it's okay but he just won't listen to me. What should I do?
Ask him if he'd be less insulted if she were to say a blunt "no" to him, rather than ducking behind the excuse of being with someone else. It takes courage to out-and-out reject someone who has feelings for you. Some girls are not okay with being blunt and hesitate to directly insult someone's feelings. It's just different ways of saying "no" and different personality types at play. The important message in this for him is to not wait a decade next time to hear something will not go his way.
I am a 28-year-old girl. I joined my new office three months back. When I started working here, I had problems with my boyfriend. A very senior colleague offered his shoulder to cry on. He was very supportive and soon we were physically involved as well. His wife read our messages, confronted me in office last week and threatened to tell my family about this affair. My colleague is now putting pressure on me to leave this job. I am from a well-to-do background but can't stay home as I don't get along with my family. What should I do?
It's wrong of him to ask that of you, but it's going to be difficult being in the same office after this confrontation. Given that he's senior and hence been there a while, whereas you have been there just a couple of months and not entrenched into the company, it does make sense for all that you look for a similar job in a less emotionally complicated environment. Make it clear you intend to move on, and keep distance from him till you do so. Lesson learnt, time to move on!
I am a 43-year-old married man with two kids and work at a senior level in advertising. At an office party I got talking with a young, new colleague and things went out of hand. I regret what happened and never spoke to her after that night. But she is threatening to expose our little rendezvous to my wife and our colleagues if I do not sleep with her again. Please help.
Think out of the box and simply make yourself less attractive. Be boring, and fart and burp in her presence. Eat lots of onions. Masturbate just before you meet her and tell her you're having a hard time getting turned on! It might be an interesting twist to make an audio or video recording of her attempt to manipulate and blackmail you, so that if she ever chooses to make you the perpetrator, you have evidence that proves otherwise.
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