20 April 2014, 07:00 AM IST
I had an amazing holiday in Panchgani with my (ex)-mother-in-law. For all those reading this that think, 'How come they still get along so well,' or 'Why would she want to,' or 'That's weird, especially given the fact her ex husband is married again', I just want to say, it's not just the role, but the person that is important in every relationship. Fact is, I've known her for over 20 years. She is also the grandmother of my children. These are facts that will never change. Different faiths, different lifestyles, different sensibilities and yes, there have been disagreements in the past, difference of opinions, way of life etc, but that's normal and we've worked through them and gone from strength to strength.
In every mom-in-law and daughter-in-law equation, there are bound to be polarities. But there are also commonalities. And unfortunately, most people are so obsessed about the polarities, they stop building and working on strengthening the commonalities. I look at the positives and work on developing them. I appreciate her for all her good qualities — be it her hospitality, her cooking, her enthusiasm to try new things, her desire to better the lives of those around her, her simplicity and her no-nonsense attitude. I am touched by how she's been admiring my bouncing back on my feet professionally post divorce, my talk show, my columns and the way I've handled life as a single parent.
The tag of 'mother-in-law' carries an almost formidable tonality, but the person is as human as you and me. Reach out and connect to the person within them. They are just as flawed as you are and just as perfect too. It's a lifelong relationship. Make it special. Make it matter. Whether you're married or divorced, it can always be one big happy family!
Q&A
I am a 19-year-old girl and was in a relationship with a guy when I was in school. We lost contact for a couple of years and got in touch again. He has proposed now but I do not want to be in a relationship with him. I have tried explaining this to him but I feel he does not understand. What should I do?
Well, if your explanations have not got through to him, your silence certainly will. Since he has strong feelings for you, it's best to keep a distance as it's emotionally unhealthy for him, and also, there's always a possibility that you might get dragged back into a relationship you don't wish to be a part of.
I am a 42-year-old man and have been married for the past 12 years. I have started to feel that my wife is into an extra marital affair with our neighbour, but she refuses it every time I ask her. I am confused. Please help.
If you are the kind of person who is routinely suspicious of his wife, then banish the thought and stop being obsessive, but if this is the first time in 12 years that you have sensed and suspected something, then I suggest you work with your instincts. First ask yourself, what you would do if you found out it was true, and whether you are ready for that eventuality. If yes, then you could hire a private investigator to look into the matter.
I am a 25-year-old married woman and have a six-month-old child. I don't like the area where we live. When I got married, my husband said that we would eventually shift to a better area, but it's almost been two years now and he refuses to move out. He has also started drinking in the company of those staying near us. I am totally frustrated with this behaviour, but I am unable to leave him because of our child. Please help.
What needs to be addressed is his reason for hitting the bottle and the cause of his frustration. It might just be that he is not financially well enough to move to a better area, and the stress of your pressuring him agitates him and makes him feel a lesser man. Whatever the reasons are, they need resolving and if you feel you can't do it alone, seek the help of his parents or someone he respects greatly to get him to talk about what's weighing him down and find ways to relieve him of his stress and also to get him to quit the bottle.
I am a 27-year-old guy who is in love with a girl I met on a social networking site. She recently told me that she would like to meet me in person and so has booked her tickets to come and see me. But I don't know whether it's the right decision.
You both are in love and she's taken the decision to take it from a virtual world to the real one. It's a very bold step for any girl to take. It's a wrong decision only if you don't treat her well, or if you make promises you don't intend to fulfil. Make it worth her while, besides, you love her! So make it happen!
Editor's note: Do you have a question for Pooja Bedi? Post it here. Your question may be chosen by her for an answer.
Anda sedang membaca artikel tentang
One big happy family post divorce
Dengan url
http://osteoporosista.blogspot.com/2014/04/one-big-happy-family-post-divorce.html
Anda boleh menyebar luaskannya atau mengcopy paste-nya
One big happy family post divorce
namun jangan lupa untuk meletakkan link
One big happy family post divorce
sebagai sumbernya
0 komentar:
Posting Komentar