07 March 2014, 10:16 AM IST
There is no greater pleasure than lack of knowledge and understanding provide. So, pardon me the lovers of motorsports.
On a professional level, I understand the sport's importance. But on a personal level, I have a burning allergy towards it.
I'm not a man of adventures. Too much noise of automobiles bothers me, the smell of fuel gives me eerie feeling in my stomach; my head spins even if I see the race on telly. Yes, me hopeless, tasteless loser.
Now, let's go the lame excuses of me disliking the motorsport in general and F1 in particular. And since we convey maximum hatred in minimum words in this part of India (Pu-n-n-ey, you see), I will keep it short.
1. It's no team sport. So constructors' championship is a superficial concept. Team instructions (to overtake or not to overtake), team strategy and all related things humbug.
2. Rafael Nadal or his rivals never say that he dominates the French Open due to his equipment. Sport has to be a contest between two people and their skills; and not a contest between equipments.
3. Ah, the man and machine excuse in motorsport. Good concept. But then, human beings also use their skills to get peak performance from the machines in various fields. But such activities are not branded as sport. Is a contest between cell phone manufacturers and their engineers a sport?
4. M-sport is a sport for the rich, mad and calculated men. And it reminds me that I am all three of them; but not enough!
5. In the F1 administration, they have not understood what is bribe, but they have understood what are tax problems. Maybe Anna Hazare and Arvind Kejriwal, you decide which man among these has used his 'machinery' well, should get Jan Lokpal bill passed from Bernie Eccelstone.
6. Anyone can become an F1 driver if he has got money or he can fool sponsors; and anyone can become an F1 owner and expert in the field if he is willing to spend money. Ah, that Indian connection.
7. I am scared of the word Principal. They have one in school, one in IPL betting and one to describe F1 team servants.
8. I like the m-sport only for one reason. It confesses that they are 'circuit'!!
9. In case you are wondering the context of this blog, let me confess with real excitement. F1 may not return to India in 2015. Viola. Pure bliss. Hiss! 'Pole' khul gayee!!
10. Not sure if I can get 10/10 for this anti-world peace rambling. But I may score better than F1's famed points system. Basically, it's no system!
Photo credit: Reuters
PS: And finally, the Oscar goes to the above two photos of Oscars. One Pistorius who is battling a court case in South Africa. And the other one, a Brazilian, celebrating a goal in a friendly soccer match. Different worlds, different emotions.
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